This autumn, when my parents were vacationing in Morocco, I’ve started bombing them with a stressed note saying that according to the latest dumb on-line test I’ve took, it resulted that I suffer from OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). My neurotic mind went crazy, coming up with scenarios in which I was the new Winona Ryder in Girl, Interrupted ! Luckily, mom has endless patience for my craziness, coming again as a Knight in shining armor to my savior, bringing my two feet, closer to the ground.
She asked me for more details on the testing procedure and the interpretation of the results, so I finally recognized that the result was mild syndrome…to none existent, but surely this was just the glorious beginning, and in a couple of years my name will be Hannibal Lecter!
While I expected at least a bit of concern from my beloved family, all I’ve got was crazy laughing and mocking. Again, was forced to spend a whole night in front of the computer reading reviews and interpreting my so called symptoms and reactions, just to be even more disappointed in the end. I wasn’t suffering from anything than my famous hysteria and a constant need to be the center of attention! But what a nice disease this OCD was: celebrities like David Beckham or Howard Hughes got it, not to say that I love the idea that people suffering from it have a higher IQ, being something common for the thinkers out there.
The syndromes that I found to posses are only two: checking the door twice before leaving the flat (I do it because my head is in the clouds, and don’t realize if I closed the house or not), washing your hands too often (YES, I’m guilty…but I bite my nails, like a chipmunk his peanuts, so need to have clean hands because that is my dinner!!!).
Reading even more, I’ve understood that people with OCD are perfectionists who need to have everything in order, perfectly organized- guilty even in this field!
If I go abroad, to an unknown destination, I’ll check with the Embassy prior to my departure, everything from VISA regulations or immigration restrictions, to local diseases and required vaccines. Will double check it afterwards even by google-ing it on-line! I am one of the most organized people out there, and would never go on a trip without having it all planned until the last, most insignificant detail.
Unfortunately…or luckily, since living in Buenos Aires, something has changed. The vast majority of the things I do now, would have provoked me a heart attack in the past. Now, I don’t give a damn about too many things, and started living my life in a more relaxed way than before.
I’ve noticed the first change a couple of days ago, but the big confirmation came when I found myself at the Immigration counter in Buenos Aires, with my passport in the right hand, waiting to leave for Uruguay. It was then for the first time, when flipping bored through the files of my passport, and admiring the endless number of stamps and Visas, that it hit me: VISA! Yes, that magical world, which has hunted me through my entire adult existence! Forgot to check if I need something like that, or not.
How could I only forget about something so important? That wasn’t me! First thing I ever do, even before starting to plan a trip, is to check the immigration policies. Now, it was just too late for anything, so all I could do was to wait and hope.
Luckily, no VISA was required and I was able to discover a new summer destination. Still, the whole situation made me think about this rather strange change. In almost 30 years, I’ve never lost a plane, never left for a trip unprepared, and absolutely never left my house without an agenda which contained all the information, carefully researched before.
Where was my OCD when I needed it??!?!?
When I was vacationing in Chile, my two long and clumsy legs, crushed against each other, and I’ve found myself bleeding on the sidewalk. If there’s one thing which drives me insane, that’s the sight of blood. Usually, after having the pleasure of seeing a bit of the red ketchup (don’t even use the b…. word in my presence) in a couple of minutes, I’ll get a wonderful white cadaverous skin color, followed by an elegant faint.
I’m the biggest nightmare for every doctor that encountered me. Imagine an adult which will start by screaming as a crazy lunatic, passing than to the next stage of biting you and then fainting away. In the last ten years, only one person has managed to survive my crazy attacks and get some blood out of me for a regular check up. All the doctors in my hometown have blacklisted me…Rome, and later Budapest went on with the same procedure.
My poor dad has diabetics and needs to get his insulin shots on a daily basis, but he can’t do it with me in the room, because I turn into a total bitch. Honestly, if there’s one thing that scares me, that’s the sight of blood!
Well, my sexy fall in Valparaiso, implied blood…and actually a lot of it; but instead of closing my eyes and letting my conscious drift away, I’ve managed to keep a clear head and acted in a very mature way. Tied the leg with the LV scarf (what a waste!!!!) and took a cab to the nearest hospital. The best thing about my mini adventure is that I didn’t even think for a second, about AIDS or other diseases when the driver, kindly offered his towel to cover the bleeding leg.
But my wacky adventures didn’t stop here. In the process of discovering my human limits, I’ve even booked for Uruguay a room in a hostal, and to my great surprise this wasn’t something as petrifying as I’ve imagined. No one killed or robbed me, but instead met some really nice people, so had with whom to exchange ideas on the traveling part through South America. I can proudly say that instead of the Queen Stiff Award, this summer, the Hippie of the Year Price, is mine!
There’s also the change in my dating behavior.
While until now, I’ve respected all kind of dumb and super dumb secret dating rules, now I have none! The funny thing is that in the last month, I went out on more dates than in the last year…
When I was living in Europe, just to convince me to pick up the phone or to answer an SMS, was something close to a war battle. Who wanted to have the pleasure of my company, had to go through an endless testing, until the poor imbecile was bored by my behavior.
Now, I answer the phone at first call (Marina will be happy to find out that the 3 calls rule doesn’t exist anymore), I don’t kiss and run as in the past, and couldn’t care less about the shoes, attire, or music and literature preferences of my admirer. Finally, understood that the differences between people, are sometimes the ingredient which makes a relationship work.
So what if he doesn’t fit in your mental description of Mr. Right? Maybe from that Mr. Right Now which you wanted to ignore, Prince Charming will come out in time! In the end, didn’t you hear your entire childhood that by kissing a frog, you’ll get your Prince?
He doesn’t wear the newest pair of Gucci Moccasins? No problem.
Doesn’t vacation in Capri, or hasn’t even been to Portofino? Wonderful! I was already there, so now these places held no secrets to me…prefer to hear about his visits to Vietnam or the volunteering in Cambodia.
Didn’t read Nietzsche? Maybe, he can recommend me something more intriguing and lively…and I can tell him about the Übermensch and the eternal return.
He doesn’t wear Prada suits and Ralph Lauren sweaters? No problem again, I’m no longer looking for a fashion mate instead of a soul mate. I have enough style too teach even a giraffe how to dress up!
What I’m trying to say is: free yourself from rules, or those invisible mental charts which we all posses, and where we write the characteristics of our perfect partner.
Not interested in a Bichon frise’ boyfriend anymore, had too many of them to be bored for a lifetime. I was constantly complaining about the linearity of my relationships, but how could I hope for more, when I was constantly repeating the same rituals, ending up, surrounded by the same kind of people!
As a closure to this long confession, will say that Buenos Aires has changed me, and I prefer this new, awkwardly clumsy, strangely happy, version of myself. Life is again fun and thrilling, and I look forward to each day…hope this switch is something permanent.
